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Panoramic Perspective
Who needs a Mother’s Day card, anyway?
Jeff Korenko
Booster publisher
Wednesday May 07, 2008
It took standing in the greeting card aisle at Cavell Drugs late last week for me to be reminded of what I have long accepted to be two irrefutable traits in my character.
The first one was that I absolutely detest shopping for greeting cards.
The second one was that I have always been somewhat of a Mama’s Boy.
And therein lied my emotional conflict-laden conundrum.
What kind of son doesn’t at least send his mother who lives some 1,600 kilometres away; who he sees once a year if he is lucky; a Mother’s Day card?
That very thought kept me there for about an hour, as I searched fruitlessly for the one that said exactly what I wanted to say this year.
A couple of the ones I leafed through, I was certain I had sent in years past. Wouldn’t knowingly sending a repeat be considered to be in bad taste?
Disgruntled, I left the store and later that weekend, I phoned my mom.
“You’re not getting a card again this year for Mother’s Day,” I proclaimed, feeling ashamed enough to come to terms with the fact that I would be going to Hell.
To be honest, the relationship my mother and I have shared has at times been less than worthy of some of the rose-coloured-glass sentiments found in a Hallmark.
We have fought, shouted, not spoken for stretches and cried over the years. We have also laughed a lot, too.
Many of the values and traits my mom instilled in me, I am now attempting to pass on to my daughters. I know I would be doing them an injustice if I didn’t at least try.
“The worst thing you can be in your life is dishonest. People will respect you more if you tell the truth and accept the consequences.”
(Doesn’t it drive you to the brink of insanity just slightly to hear your parent’s voice in your mind when you are saying the same thing to that child, your parent once said to you?)
I know I sometimes agree with her, just to placate her; and I know she hates that.
As I have grown older, I have developed a greater appreciation, through my mom, for what being a parent for a lifetime truly means.
I can still hear the pride in her voice when she responds to hearing of good news from out west. She still frets too much when I tell her I am feeling run down and reiterates the importance of taking better care of myself, because I have a wife and children that deserve to have a husband and a daddy who is around for a long, long time.
She still scolds me when I have messed up, even though sometimes I think the things I tell her are none of her business.
I love that she loves being a grandma and that she does so unconditionally.
There are times I wish she was around more, while other times I am glad there is a geographical buffer between us.
The best part, however, is that I know she knows all this, because our relationship allows for forthrightness and honesty; through the good and the bad.
So no, Mom, I won’t be getting you a card for Mother’s Day this Sunday.
There wouldn’t have been enough room to handwrite this in there, anyway.
Have a swell week!
– editor@jasperbooster.com
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